Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
