batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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