1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
