she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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