Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
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After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
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Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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