It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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