I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Enjoy the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize