Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
