There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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