dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
