Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
