I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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