I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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