please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
