if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
