it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
