no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
