I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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