I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
