you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
