I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
