plz talk dirty to me
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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