i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
