if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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