yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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