If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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