how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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