Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
