I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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