Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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