Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
