I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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