just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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