I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
