She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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