dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
