You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize