We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
sarcasm needs its own font
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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