margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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