sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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