their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
