everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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