He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You've changed since you got that strap on
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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