I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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