batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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