Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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