I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Blood and glitter go together right?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
