also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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