We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
