I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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