Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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