I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
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