the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
