At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
