Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
