i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize