Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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