with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
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I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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