Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
