Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
