Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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